What is self-esteem? Google defines it as an “overall subjective emotional evaluation of his or her own worth. It is a judgment of oneself as well as an attitude toward the self”. Now when you think about it, your self-esteem really impacts the way you look at things or approach life.
Self-esteem typically relates to the love we have for ourselves and affects our thoughts and emotions. For example someone who is happy with a high self-esteem must love themselves quite a bit. Someone who has a low self-esteem and is happy might feel like they don’t deserve that happiness. Now it is possible to change your self-esteem and the way you feel about things. Granted it is going to be hard to higher your self-esteem, it’s not impossible though. In the end it’s up to you and how much you really want to make that change.
Here’s a few tips:
1. Stop comparing yourself to others
This is a habit that every individual possesses. Whether it’s a failed test or a simple collage in art class. We’re always looking at the next person over to see what they’ve done. And if artsy Jane who sits three desks over created something that nearly looks like DaVinci could’ve painted it himself, you’re naturally going to want to shred your own drawing. Don’t, not everyone is going to create the same piece of art and that’s okay. If anything, compare yourself to your past and look at yourself now. See how far you’ve come and be proud of your own accomplishments.
2. Accept compliment
I’ll admit, accepting compliments is something I’m not good with. Whenever someone says “oh my god, you look so pretty!” I’ll laugh it off and immediately search for a flaw. When it comes to compliments, the only person truly judging you, is you. How many times have you stood in front of a mirror, nit-picking every single detail about yourself? Wishing to change something in that moment? When you step back and take a look, if you found the flaws you have on someone else, it wouldn’t really matter would it? Who you are as a person isn’t stifled by your flaws, accept compliments, you deserve them.
3. Learn to accept your failures and look for a positive alternative
So you didn’t get that promotion you were looking for. Or maybe you completely failed that test. First instinct would be to complain and see everything you did wrong, everything you could have changed but didn’t. It’s a step in the right direction, but not really. Instead of dwelling on it, take a better look at what went wrong and see what could be done right, how you could better improve it the next time around. What’s done is done, you can’t change the past, so work towards bettering future projects.
Raising you self-esteem is hard, trust me I know. But with some work and love. You’ll get there.